On Tuesday I had a meltdown. Nothing of epic proportions: no four letter words escaped my lips and no objects were launched across the room. I suppose a more apt description would be a mini meltdown. In any case, tears were involved and I found myself falling headfirst into the self-deprecating pit of despair, the very one I admonished you all to avert in this post last week. Hypocrite.
I knew I was being completely irrational and emotional but I just couldn’t help myself. It’s all to do with the left and right brain if we’re to believe the psychological experts. When we get all worked up and absorbed in emotional turmoil the more reactionary right brain highjacks the logical left brain. The left thinks, the right feels. So they say.
Meltdowns, mini or otherwise are not fun and they’re not pretty: there is nothing attractive about a blotchy face and puffy red eyes. So today Warriors, with your emotional well-being at the forefront of my mind, I would like to propose three simple ways to avoid a meltdown:
1) DO NOT GO TO BED AT 2AM ON A REGULAR BASIS
Some people go to bed early, some are night owls and others attempt to burn the candle at both ends. I slot rather unfortunately into the latter category. There are simply not enough hours in the day so I try to make good use of as many out of the available twenty-four as I can. There is, however, only so long your poor body will be able to sustain this reckless and fool-hardy routine before meltdowns ensue and you look like utter crap.
2) AVOID SPEEDING FINES AND PARKING TICKETS
A no brainer really since they only serve to enhance and intensify your self-afflicted, sleep-deprived misery. And your bank account won’t thank you either.
3) BACK AWAY FROM THE HAAGEN DAZS
Eating an entire tub of salted caramel ice-cream may bring an inordinate amount of joy and pleasure at the time but proceed with caution Warriors! These sensations are lulling you into a false sense of security and will only last the duration of consumption.
Within a few minutes of savouring the very last bite you’ll be on an express train back to the now all too familiar self-deprecating pit of despair. And your outburst may terrify and traumatise an already very nervous Whippet.
Follow this counsel wisely, Warriors. Your very sanity may depend upon it.
Ginger Warrior, over and out.
P.S. What three pieces of advice would YOU offer in order to avoid emotional outbursts? All suggestions gratefully received.