Picture it, Warriors. The year is 1991, I'm 12 years old and in my first year at Arbroath High School. Mrs Gardiner, our English teacher and one of my all time favourite educators, issues us with a challenge and the challenge is this: to re-create a classic fairy tale but with a modern day twist... and in rhyme.
Twenty-three years down the line I still remember my chef d'oeuvre word for word. What I came up with may not have set the literary world on fire but Mrs Gardiner was very proud of me and as far as my 12 year old self was concerned THAT was the ultimate accolade.
Some light-hearted nonsense for you today, Warriors. Enjoy.
Ginger Warrior, over and out.
CINDERS by Ceri Louise Davies
Long ago in the land of McShame,
There lived a young maiden, Cinders was her name.
She lived with her Aunt who worked her all day:
"Sweep the floor!" was all she could say.
Aunt Nell had a son, his name was Mick,
He was so utterly gross he made everyone sick.
On his chin he had warts and on his nose pimples,
and on his behind he had big, ugly dimples.
Then one day a letter came:
"By the King this is to proclaim,
that every maiden in the land,
should attend a disco, with a real live band."
"Oh wow, oh great, oh whoopy do,
I hope the band is Deacon Blue!"
Yelled Cinders who was filled with glee:
"I hope the Prince will dance with me".
But Nell and Mick, they started to mock her:
"You think you're going? You're off your rocker!
We won't let you go, we'll lock the door,
And while we are gone you can sweep the floor!"
Suddenly with a crash and a thud,
In flew a fairy on a SCUD.
She had style, she had grace,
she wore a dress of silk and lace.
She said: "Shut up you 'orrible lot,
Cinders is going if you like it or not.
So hurry up Cinders, go and get ready.
I'll get you a car it will be fast but steady".
Cinders put on her British Knights,
Joe Bloggs top and holy tights,
She wore turtle knickers and Pepe Jeans,
I'm telling you know she looked really mean!
With an almighty skid and a startling peep,
outside was a car fast, steady and sleek.
It was a ferrari, coloured white
with electric windows and pop up lights.
So off Cinders went into the car,
Off the palace (which was not very far).
When she got there she shouted with glee:
"This is the life that's meant for me!"
The palace was big and very grand,
the finest palace in the land.
The windows were silver, the doors were gold,
and all the servants were handsome and bold.
And there he was himself, Prince Jack.
Eyes of blue and hair of black.
He was at least 6 ft tall,
he wasn't what Cinders expected at all!
They hit it off right from the start,
for the rest of the night they were never apart.
They danced and danced throughout the night,
they kissed and held each other tight.
And then the Prince fell to his knees:
"Oh Cinders, will you marry me, please?
It really would fulfill my life,
if you would be my wedded wife."
Why Jack this surprising proposal of thine,
has left me floating on cloud number nine.
But of course I will, I really would love to.
I can't imagine life without you!
The wedding was a great success,
the food was of the very best.
The royals and upper class were there,
it really was a grand affair.
They departed at once when the wedding was over,
to live in their castle - on the white cliffs of Dover.
And now, a year later, their lives are complete,
for now they have twins, Patricia and Pete.
P.S. Do you remember any poems or stories that you wrote in your younger days?? Please share them, it would be so much fun to read them! Maybe you currently enjoy writing in your spare time. If so, what kind of stories/poems do you like to write?