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A love poem for my first crush.

A love poem for my first crush.

first-crush

If you know me well, you'll know that I've never been much of a dater. I can count on one and a half hands how many guys have sparked my interest over the years. I can only imagine my mum's relief when, at the age of 30, I met Craigy Boy and decided it was time to make my dating debut. What can I say, Warriors? I'm a late bloomer.

I did, however, have one almighty and massive crush, my first crush at the age of 13.  His name was Colin Evans and he was a swimmer. We met through a mutual friend and boy (yes, he was a boy) I was smitten! The first time I laid my eyes upon him and his speedos my heart skipped a beat, my breath caught in my throat and I could have sworn a chorus of heavenly angels surrounded his being. This is it, I thought. This is what they call being in love.

My head was filled with Colin Evans by day and by night he was the protagonist of my dreams. When I found myself in his presence I became mute, such was the spell he had unwittingly cast upon me. I may have lost the power of speech but my mind, my spirit had never felt so alive! I put pen to paper and immortalised my youthful adulation with these words that I remember to this very day:

When I close my eyes I long to find,
a dream beyond imagination, beyond the limits of the mind.
A vision of perfection, a chain with no missing link,
a thought within my reaches, a thought too nice to think.

A figure of masculinity, a symbol of all that's bold,
a love that will be eternal through hardships unnumbered and untold.
A thought towards the future of a better and secure tomorrow,
a thought so serene and precious it drowns out all the sorrow.

Then suddenly I open my eyes and it's gone, it's gone away,
the thought so serene and precious is just a passing memory.
Then I think to myself again, it's only a matter of time,
until that dream, that vision of perfection will finally be mine.

 

This teenage tale ends in tragedy and woe as so many often do. My love, ardor and devotion were wholly unrequited and for a brief spell (about 4 days) it broke my heart in two. But life went on, as it does, as it must and our paths have not crossed since. In all likelihood they never will.

If, one day, you find yourself reading this dear, sweet Colin, I wish you to know that I harbor no ill feelings; you may have spurned my advances, rejected the most sincere of affections but you also opened my eyes and heart to the possibility of a life full of love.

Ginger Warrior, over and out.

 

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20 Comments

  1. I was 5 -yes, 5, quite young I know. He was 12. My first crush’s name was Jerome. He broke my heart when he refused to play with me. I stared at him on the school bus every morning. I was a real creepee back then…

  2. All that inspired by a boy in Budgie Smugglers? I feel slightly nausious πŸ˜‰

    I reckon my first crush was when I was about 10 and living in Ayr, girl called Yvonne. Lovely West Coast of Scotland accent which sounded amazing to a lad from West Yorkshire. She’s now a Director of International Banking, and thats not a euphemism by the way.

    Good job Craig’s not into all that mushy stuff eh? lol.

  3. I think my 1st crush was one of my sister’s friends, who we both knew from before we started school. I was under no illusion, it was never mutual, lol. He still is a bit of all right, lol. I don’t know if it was an actual crush but I did admire M from afar at school, 2 yrs below me, confident, good looking, and when we had all left school he had very nice cars (shallow I know, lol). 13 yrs after leaving school we started dating and now married with kids. Sometimes just catch myself not believing it, lol.

  4. Mine was a guy named Ross. I was lucky enough to pull him at a nightclub (yes we were underage) and I knew at the time that that night would be a one off. I still remember the song that played to this day (king of my castle) CRINGE!!!! X

  5. Well i feel like i was a greek god at 14 reading that! was it the year i will always love you was at no 1? i seem to remember dancing badly to it. i recall that at 13 you were not shy and quite fiesty. ill bet nothing has changed! but anyhoo that brought back some good memories so thanks for that and keep up the good work. x

    colin

  6. Mine was a boy with blue hair and a pierced ear, we were 14 and in the school play together. Despite lots of flirting it never came to anything, and though I’m sure I wrote poetry about him sadly it’s been lost.

    • The Ginger Warrior

      I think you should make up some poetry now and dedicate it to him. A Ode to My First Crush. Go on, I dare you! πŸ˜‰ xxxx

  7. No comment. My first crush is a fellow warrior of the world so shall remain nameless!

  8. I had a huge crush when I was about 10 or so on this boy who I thought was the cutest boy ever (and kinda still is) I never talked to him as I was too nervous but I’ve got over it now and we talk sometimes :)

  9. I was 10. My year at school. His name was Miles and all the girls loved him. I was the chubby girl in the back and just loved him from a far.

  10. My first crush was my brothers friend Fabio – swoon! Fabio tolerated my wistful yet hurried glances as he was a gentleman but alas he was not in the slightest bit interested. Many a night I spent listening to “It must have been love….but its over now….la la la” in teenage angsty tears of woe….(80’s)….it never started as I have stated but the pain burnt….in my case for a good couple years as I saw him all the time :-(….however I moved onto pastures new – as you do! However – I did not write to tell you about my first crush – although that was rather healing πŸ˜‰ No – I wrote to say that I think your poem was amazing and such a “wise beyond your years kind of poem” – I loved it – as I read it from a 13 year old perspective (what I can remember of being 13) and from the perspective of having a 7 year old son and a 2 year old daughter whom are going to face all of this too…..exciting yet terrifying as a Mother x I am prompted to go find my old poetry journals xxx

    • The Ginger Warrior

      “Fabio.” Even the name sounds dreamy!! And I think you have a while to wait until your gals reach that stage. I hope!! Lol! And do come back and share some of your old poetry!! xxx

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