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Comparison is the thief of joy

Comparison is the thief of joy

I do it, you do it, we all do it. Most days. In fact, we can't seem to help ourselves. Is it part of the human condition? Perhaps. But not one of the more attractive and productive parts.

I found myself doing it this morning as I drove to work. Out of the corner of my eye I spied a girl wearing a pair of skinny jeans and she wearing them well, complete with enviable thigh gap. You know what I mean by thigh gap, right? Pretty self explanatory really. It's a space between your inner thighs when you're standing with your feet together and it is coveted by most women. It looks like this:


I don't have one, she did and for a few seconds I found myself dwelling upon my self-imagined imperfection... And then I gave myself a good, hard metaphorical slap and I was brought back to reality. The dimensions of my thigh gap or lack thereof is of such little import in the grand scheme of things. It has no bearing on my life or the way I lead it so why, oh why did I give those precious seconds of my life over to feelings of inadequacy? While I may be powerless to stop these pervasive thoughts from entering my mind in the first place what I can do is challenge them and drive them back to the gloomy, self-deprecating pitof despair from whence they came. They serve no purpose other than to bring me down and I, the Ginger Warrior, will not be brought down!  Theodore Roosevelt knew it.  He once declared:


Surely no truer word has been spoken!  The very moment we let our guard down and think that somebody has it better than we do is the moment that joy and happiness abandon us. It also means that we are in real danger of overlooking and undervaluing the countless blessings and bounties that we enjoy in our own lives.  

The truth of the matter is that there will ALWAYS be someone thinner, richer, better looking, more intelligent, more creative e.t.c, e.t.c, e.t.c.  But do you know what there will NEVER EVER be? Someone like YOU!  You and I are unique, dear Warriors, there is no-one else quite like us in the whole, entire world!  That makes us special, a rare commodity to be cherished. So cherish yourself, be kind to yourself and if you really do feel the need to change then simply become a better version of YOU.  "Be yourself", said Oscar Wilde, "everybody else is already taken."

I'm no Theodore Roosevelt or Oscar Wilde but my advice, for what is counts, is to judge your words, actions, thoughts, looks and achievements by your own standards and leave comparison firmly out of the equation. Chances are you'll be a much happier human being.

And as for me and my chaffing inner thighs?  We keep each other warm in the winter.

Ginger Warrior, over and out.

P.S.  Do you find yourself comparing your life to that of those around you?  How does it make you feel? Any suggestions as to how we could better handle comparisons?


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  1. This is something that I do loads. Also, I spend quite a bit of my time working out ways in which I can avoid turning out like my mother. Which I am sure many people will understand. I hope. Another thing that can make us feel like crap is ANALYSIS PARALYSIS. The constant need to check that everything is going as it should and if it is not then DISASTER! Urgh, I am so glad that you have inspired me to take a great big metaphorical slap around my face too today. Another great article. I love following your stuff.

    • The Ginger Warrior

      Analysis paralysis is a killer! But it’s part and parcel of anxiety. It’s all about challenging those thoughts Adelle and to keep challenging them until you control them and not the other way around. You will get there, I know you will! xxxxxx

  2. I have always said” you may be bigger than me, stronger than me, never as good looking as me!, cleverer Than me, but your not better than me”

  3. This is my favourite one Ceri. I bloomin love you. xxx

  4. So true!!! A great reminder Ceri!

  5. What an awesome post. I love it. I needed it. Thank you my Cer-ooni!

  6. I really enjoy your blogs and am forced to be brave and compare you to your esteemed mother – although I haven’t yet met you, you come across as daft and likeable as she was and still is! Great stuff Ceri! X

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